falls

OMGAH. i'm posting again! what a Christmas miracle! Today I did nothing. And it was Memorial day too. I woke up, played MarioKart like a 34 year old still living at his parents house and then went to lunch with those parents. At this particular lunch, my mom proceeded to get a margarita. I thought that was silly. She should have gotten 50. But like a cat, my mom would have 9 lives, so she wouldnt die from drinking that much, she would have just been very drunk. Imagine that...5o margs! Whoah. 

Well, as you can see above, my subject of this blog is "falls". Well, there are many types of falls...there are falls such as Niagra Falls. Niagra Falls gets a bad rep to me because whenever I hear it, my mature brain immediately turns the name into Viagra Falls...and that's just silly. Another fall, Hawaiian Falls, is a cheap and boring attempt at a local waterpark in Garland, TX. It has terrible nachos, and the last time I went when I was babysitting, I had to leave because I fainted in the women's bathroom from low blood sugar. I had to have these sistas go and get the boys I was babysitting to bring them into the women's room...how immasculating.

The fall that I would like to discuss is not anything to do with water, but actually I guess water could be a component in it. I am talking about Literal Falls. Like banana peel falls. With Literal Falls, I have many personal experiences. Now I will tell you about two. I hope that your humor does not escape you as it never escapes me. neverrrr. 

One time I fell. I fell out of my chair at dinner.  I fell out of my chair at dinner at an expensive restaurant. The waiters rushed to my side, asking me if I was ok, if there was anything they could do...I should have replied, how about free dessert? Instead, I laughed. I laughed my usual hearty-everythings-really-not-that-funny-but-it-is-to-me laugh and i guess embarassed myself. oh well. But I fell. Oh, and everyone gasped...like that movie gasp in those football movies when the player drops the ball and then they play the cricket noise....AHHHHH...cheep. cheep.

The next time I fell, it was a little more eloquent. I was looking for boxes to move my gear from one house to another. Now, I had two boxes already but i felt as if I needed more. I was instructed by my peers to go to Dollar General and HEB to find free boxes. So I went. They had none. After I killed everyone inside and stole all of their ca$h moneys, I went to the next dollar store. (that didnt happen...but i did go to another dollar store). I went to a DIFFERENT Dollar General, not to be confused with the first one I visited. At this one, they had two boxes, totaling 4. I wanted more. I wanted more boxes. SO the lady told me to go to the dumpsters in the back and grab a few if there were some. WELL I did that. So I go to this "dumpster" and "get boxes". Oh that dumpster sure had boxes! So my greed got a hold of me. I reached for my boxes one after one. Soon, I had totaled enough to move my entire house. But I wanted more. I stood on the edge of the dumpster to grab another box and guess what happend? I FELL IN! ha I fell in a dumpster. The end.

Goodbye.

food

SO sorry I haven't blogged. I have been in London for the past two weeks. Just kidding, I've actually been in Tokyo. Just kidding with that, I've actually been in Brazil. Man do they have some zexy men?! okay okay, I'll stop the B.S. i've actually been in Dallas, wasting away underneath the sun, eating amazing homecooked meals (except for the pork chops yesterday...sorry dad, they were a little dry, YOU even said it!) So as i'm sure youre wondering, how are my cats?

Angel, the retarded one (literally), is great. She is still meowing at command and continues to sit by me and then bite me when i pet her for too long.

Mattie, the cool one, is even better. she is shedding because it's getting hot outside and i'm pretty sure she's pissed about it. Whatevs.

So that was me talking about my cats like they are humans. How creeptastic of me!

Rachel Tyler gets her very own shout out today, she left for Rome. this is a sad sad day for America. I believe all of Houston's flags are at half-mast today. Here is this picture in honor of you.

Yeah yeah!! bella and beau!! whats up whats up?!

Well, what I am going to do for my blogs is have a title and write about it. Ever heard of a subject? Well that's what it is. So suck on that! If you can read, tell me what today's subject is...what's that little girl? Food? Well good for you, you're right. Today's subject is food. and my opinion on it. as p-diddy says: "mo money mo problems"...yeah that's irrelevant.

Today I ate at Maggiano's. Aside from the creepy trainee that was my waitress (maybe waiter), I had a decent meal. I had a salad that took too long to make, it had an interesting dressing that was probably made in the back from a boot, but it was all in all okay. Then, came the main course. AHHHHHH it was spaghetti with meat sauce. Mrs. Jefferson described it quite simply when she said,"I said meat sauce, not meatballs". Take what you want from that. I also have left overs.

I am apparently eating at this place called Cafe Milagro with my family for dinner tonight. apparently they have strong margaritas. I'm gonna need a few of those to get rollin! I wonder if they make them with everclear. My sister had one and she said she was pretty blizted. I then proceeded to tell her that they probably put everclear in them. she then said, "no, i think its tequila"....haha. my young grasshopper has a lot to learn, they put the tequila in and ALSO everclear. This helps make moody mother-in-laws seem a little nicer, unattractive first dates seem a little more attractive, and in extreme cases, make the food taste a little better. The good thing about these everclear margs is that they will do all these things without making you look like an alcoholic! instead of having six (like my dad...just kidding) you can just have two, and while getting that date to look a little hotter, you also look a liiiiiiiiiiiitttle more responsible! now i'm not condemning the 6-marg option. That can still happen.

Well, I hope you learned alot about our subject, food, today. Watch out for my next blog, after I get back from Africa. or Thailand. or the Maldives....or just the outlet mall. of course, a baby picture of me being cute and sassy on Western Day in kindergarten to leave you happy:

MyFirstBlog

Omg lyke hello! I'm totally sitting at my house (next door...so not my house) and decided to make a blog. Why did I create this? Well merely to talk...since I have no friends to talk to. Absolutely no friends. JUST KIDDINGG I have friends. They are pretty bad ass too. Like super bad ass. As you can see below, they are pretty...pretty gangly. and also all homosexuals. literal.

<--- My faggy friends. Don't worry, there's more of them. Too many more. Lik

e 5,000. All gay.

Anyways, I woke up today to enjoy some Samantha Brown on Passport to Europe. I want to be 

her so bad. Get gets to travel around the world for free and talk to strangers. My dream in a nutshell. What is my drea

m you ask? Well to live here...

(insert picture of London)

I tried to insert a picture as I did above, but it did not work and I am upset. SOOO UPSET!

But anywho, school is getting out and exams are starting. Exams are seriously the gayest things ever. Like really. Except for 

my Math Modeling exam...the class that i'm miserably failing. In this class, I get to take a 3x5 notecard with whatever I want on it. Pretty badass. So instead of writing the answers from previous tests, I am going to draw hybrids on it to laugh at when I am stuck on a question. Yeah...I'm not gonna do that. 

A picture for you:

<----OmG rNt I lYkE sO cUtE?!?!

Yeah. Well that's about it for today. I'm going to work out (seriously...give me applause), maybe make dinner (probably end up eating some random crap like Cici's...which is actually really good), and then maaaybe celebrate cinco de mayo!!

Have a wonderful day chumps.